I'm a full-time mom, part-time preschool teacher who believes experiences are more important than things, travel is one of the best ways to learn compassion for other cultures, and now is the time to make memories with the ones you love.

  • Jana Mascioni

Funny One Star Reviews of Famous Italian Landmarks

Updated: Nov 14, 2019

Italy is known for some of the most-visited landmark art and ancient ruins in Europe. Many people are moved and in awe of the Renaissance artists' talent and the skill of the ancient Roman architects. Then, there are some who are not so impressed.


Perhaps these unimpressed tourists were having a bad day. Maybe they had unrealistic expectations of what they were going to see. Whatever the reason they felt compelled to leave a scathing review of some of the world’s most impressive monuments, the one-star reviews are often humorous to read.

Below I’ve included a little information on a few of the famous Italian sites and the priceless one-star reviews I found on TripAdvisor.


Patheon

The Roman Pantheon is one of the best-preserved and important buildings of ancient Rome, built around 128 A.D. It has a massive domed ceiling with a large circular opening in the middle called the Oculus. It held the record for the largest dome in the world for over 1300 years and to this day, is still the largest unreinforced concrete dome in existence.



Never mind the historical and architectural wonder; this reviewer couldn't get past the smell.

“an atmosphere that captures every breath exhaled within its walls over nearly two millennia of poor dental hygiene.”


This reviewer had a bone to pick about the "hole in the roof." Must have been a rainy day when he visited.

“Unfortunately it was built for a time when men and women wore mohair underwear and were so plastered from fermented fungus infected food they didn't feel the cold. In ancient times most people died at forty from sneezing over each other in large ancient architectural buildings that had a large hole in the roof to let in pouring rain. Save yourself the long queue and just cut a hole in a piece of black cardboard and hold it up to the sky, that's what it's like to visit only more dry if it's raining.”


This reviewer was not so impressed. At least he offers a tip.

“It's dull. Best viewed from the bar across the piazza with a beer is my top tip.”


Colosseum

Colosseum

The Colosseum in Rome, Italy, was the largest amphitheater ever built at the time in ancient Rome. It held 50,000 spectators for gladiator contests, public spectacles, mock sea battles, and theatrical dramas. Although much of it has been ruined over time due to earthquakes and stone-robbers, it still stands tall as an iconic symbol of Rome. It is listed as one of the New 7 Wonders of the World.


I think this reviewer was a little confused thinking he was coming to see a football game instead of an Ancient Wonder of the World that inspired future architecture to this day.

“I came here expecting to see pugilistic bloodsport but instead I am baking in the sun with thousands of other tourists while some guy with a Greek accent or whatever talks about the Romans as if they were still relevant today. Also they didn't serve alcohol.”



This reviewer doesn't seem to be interested in History. I'm wondering why he chose a trip to Rome, the center of the ancient world.

“If history interests you, visit it. Else give it a skip surely.”


Not sure what is more disturbing about this review. His inability to grasp why the ancient Romans didn't "light up" the colosseum with electricity or his comment about hookers. Quick, someone get this guy one of those light-up toys you buy at Disneyland to keep him entertained.

“Blimey! It's stones. Nothing special. Overrated. Doesn't light up. Looks better in pics No good looking Italians Could've spent the money on hookers.”


Roman Forum

Roman Forum

The Roman Forum in Italy is one of the most famous tourist sites in the world. The Forum was considered the heart of ancient Rome. It once held statues, arches, basilicas, and other buildings for elections, public speeches, trials, religious ceremonies, and other gatherings. Some of the structures date back to 42 B.C.


During the Middle Ages, the land that had once been the "center of Rome" had diminished to no more than an area that was used for grazing cattle. The Roman Forum was rediscovered in 1803. Today, ruins from several centuries can be found at the Forum because the Romans had built over earlier ruins. More than 4.5 million people visit this site annually; I guess you can't please them all.


This guy didn’t get the memo that he was queuing in line to look at ruins. His math is also about 1,000 years off.

“Just ruins. I guess I learned that Roman construction was good but not good enough to last 1000 years. Today you can see a bunch of pieces of stuff some of it sitting on older stuff and try to imagine how it looked at various times of construction and repairs."



Trevi Fountain

Trevi Fountain

The Trevi Fountain is the largest Baroque fountain in Rome and has been made famous by films such as Roman Holiday and La Dolce Vita. It’s considered a masterpiece and beautiful enough for iconic films but not for this grumpy reviewer.


Was this guy trying to write a poem?

“Dull sculpture and water romantic it isnt. It splashes and splashes, it spurtles and flows, it fountains and gurgles and is as romantic as my oldest pairs of smelly socks. Let down.


Pompeii

Pompeii

The city of Pompeii, Italy, was covered by the ashes of the volcano Vesuvius in 79AD and discovered and excavated in the 18th century. Visiting the ruins today, you can get an idea of what it was like to walk the ancient streets of the Roman Empire about 2000 years ago. You can climb the steps of the ancient theater, drink from the original fountains, view the homes where people used to live, and enter the spaces where restaurants and bars used to operate. (To view my blog post for tips on visiting Pompeii with kids click here.)


Sorry the city that once held 20,000 people is too big for your liking. This reviewer isn’t a fan of the ancient city planning either.

“Hugely underwhelming - way too big and way too crowded. There were a few interesting bits, but you have to navigate a brick maze before you get there."


Statue of David

The Statue of David

David is considered a masterpiece sculpture, created by the Italian artist Michelangelo during the Renaissance between 1501 and 1504. This 17-foot statue depicts the biblical David after he has decided to fight Goliath. The sculpture is one of the most recognized artworks of the Renaissance. It was initially intended to be placed on a cathedral roofline. This is believed to be the reason why the head and lifelike hands are unusually large so that they could be visible from below.


This reviewer has been tortured for 20 years, waiting to share his opinion. Note the typos are his, not mine.

“why a monster head must considered masterpiece?? I have been various times in Florence , and i tried to convence myself that Michaelangelo's David is masterpiece. Now after 20 years i know what I am saying. No it is not!!! It is an asymetrical statue with oversized head unharmonius form and bland eyes. I dont expect any one to share my view but this is my opinion.”


First time at a museum?

“David Stole My Fanta. Had to hand over my can of Fanta on entry so I wouldn't dissolve the statues or something.”


Seen one…. you’ve seen them all, I guess.

“What is the fuss? Not sure what the deal is. Looks like any other statue you can find all over Europe.”


The Last Supper

The Last Supper

The Last Supper in Milan, Italy, painted by Leonardo da Vinci is one of the world’s most influential paintings. The painting was done on a dry wall rather than a wet plaster, so it is not a true fresco. Because of this dry method used and environmental factors, very little of the original painting remains. (Learn more about different types of fresco painting in my blog post Italian Renaissance Fresco Painting for Children). The picture is important to many people because it is Leonardo’s interpretation of the dinner the evening before Christ was betrayed by one of his disciples.


Good thing this guy isn’t in charge of protecting our world’s treasures.

“Waste of time. Hugely overrated as a World Heritage Site. Would the world miss The Last Supper if it were gone? Hardly. I mean: They even admit that the painting was falling apart as early as 1517 (!). It the painting had been a building, it would have been torn down centuries ago for basic errors in foundation and construction.”


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This post is part of the #DolceVitaBloggers Linkup hosted by Jasmine, Kelly and Kristie the 3rd Sunday of every month where Italians and Italy lovers share their blog and vlog posts on Italian subjects.






Related Posts:

11 Tips for Visiting Pompeii with Kids

Italian Renaissance Fresco Painting for Children


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I'm a full-time mom, part-time preschool teacher who believes experiences are more important than things, travel is one of the best ways to learn compassion for other cultures, and now is the time to make memories with the ones you love.

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